If there is one leitmotif for the past weekend, then it should probably be "shitty". First we crawled, slipped, climbed and fell into bat-shit, then I was pretty much shitting myself for most of Sunday. And finally, we had to deal with some shit with the shuttle. But you know what? I still had a lot of fun!

Me and some friends of mine from Antigua, Kelsey (Canada), Patrick (USA), Maria (Holland), Fleur (Holland), Uda (Norway) and Silke (Germany) had decided to go on weekend-trip to Semuc Champey, which a lot of people deem to be one of the most beautiful spots in the country. I actually didn´t get to see it, but more about this later. Anyhow, we took a shuttle from Antigua (25 USD return each) and were on our way. Unfortunately though our driver was driving very, very, very carefully and didn´t really know the way. So a trip that normally should take 5.5 to six hours to seven. But we had fun, talking lots of bullshit on the way and I can honestly say I´ve been on a lot of one-hour trips that felt longer than this seven-hours trip.

We had decided to stay in Lanquin, 10 km from Semuc Champey, because there is only one hostel with 22 beds in Semuc and the odds of it beeing booked were quite high. It was probably a good thing, too, because the Hotel Retiro is just gorgeous! One of those places you just don´t want to leave: hammocks, swings, bamboo huts and just the most relaxing atmosphere. And since we decided to sleep in the dorms (4 beds per dorm) it was quite cheap as well: Only 30Q per night.

Deep Shit in the Bat Cave

In the late afternoon we decided to go to do a tour of the nearby caves. We asked beforehand whether it would be very difficult to do and were assured that no, it wasn´t difficult to do. We should only wear solid shoes and long pants since the caves are very slippery with Guano, bat shit. It turned out that the "not difficult" part was a bit of an understatement. Kelsey and Silke had to turn back since both of them are having ankle- and kneeproblems. And even for the rest of us, it was quite taxing. At one point Fleur slipped and crashed right on her back - she was really lucky that there was only batshit and no nasty Stalacmite where she fell. And I slipped on the way out of the cave and just managed to hold on to a rail that fortunately happend to be there (most of the cave doesn´t have any rails, stairs, lights or you name it). Well, holding on to that rail I was literally swinging over a chasm. If I hadn´t been able to catch it, my last blog entry would probably have been my last entry ever.

Well, we managed to survive. And really, it was really cool as well! I mean, we were climbing through the darkest corners of this cave, with nothing but candles in our hands (though the guide had a headlamp). On some parts we even had to crawl through narrow spaces, on three other occasions we had to use a rope to get somewhere - and climbing a rope when the ground is slippery with guano is not easy! It definitely was great adventure. And all the time we could hear the bats chirping overhead, who were slowly waking to hunt. What surprised me most about the cave was how bloody hot it was. I mean, we were sweating and not only from exhaustions. It must have been at least 25 degrees Celsius in there. I´m wondering whether that heat is mainly created by the guano and the creatures that process it. God, it was hot!

A shitty moment

Later we had a bit of a shitty moment with our driver who promised five people from Lanquin that they could go back with us the next day - for 15 USD. Aside from the fact that this was our private shuttle and that we had paid more than that for the trip, there were only two seats left in the shuttle. So we put down our feet and told her very cleary that this was simply not on. Fortunately we succeded.

A good nights talk

That night we sortof split up a bit. It wasn´t that we intentionally separated but it just happend that Kelsey, Silke and me ended up in the loft drinking beer while the others had gone to their rooms to drink the rum and wine they had brought along. It was good thing though, since Kelsey and especially Silke shared some thing that were very private and very touching.

Oh Shit!

Unfortunately I must have eaten something wrong or eaten from dirty plates/cutlery, since I fell really ill in the night. (Btw: That was one of the things I always appreciated very much in Myanmar. There you normally get your cutlery in a glass of boiling water which takes care of most germs). So while the others went the waterfalls and lagoonas of Semuc Champey I was busy puking and shitting my guts out and popping Immodiums like candy. After all, we were supposed to take the shuttle back to Antigua later that day. At times I felt so week and nauseous that day that I serioulsy doubted that I would be able to sit in the car. However, in the end, I did crawl into the shutlle, pale as a sheet and queasy. But fortuantely my health was improving during the course of the day and the Immodiums had done what they were supposed to do. At the end of the day I was even able to eat some crackers (I had only drunk water and tea, no food for me, no thank you) and today I´m almost 100 percent fine again, only some mild diarrea, which I find quite amazing after all the pills. But hey, no reason to get upset.

Shit with the car

Unfortuantely the trip back to Antigua didn´t pass as quickly as the trip there. For one thing I was miserable, but the other thing was that our driver got lost even more ofter and actually observed all the speedlimits. Which probabaly makes her the only person in all of Guatemala. I mean, we had heavy trucks overtaking us while she idled along. So all in all it took us nearly nine hours to get back! Granted, half an hour of the delay was due to the fact that we had to change busses in Guatemala City since the lights failed on our minibus. So that was hardly her fault. It was quite exciting, though. After all, the main reason we left at 12.00 was so that we would not have to drive through Guate at night since then, according to the agency, we would need an armed guard. So there we were, not only driving through Guate at night but actually kindof breaking down in the city. Fortunately our driver had chosen a guarded petrol station to wait for the replacement, but it still felt a bit uncomfortable. The funny thing was that once the other bus had arrived and we had transferred into it, she still drove all the way to Antigua without lights - in front of us.

So, at long last we arrived back home and I just fell into bad. As I said: There was a lot of shit in that weekend. But I still had a great time.